Editor’s Note: Fork & Dagger is 828newsNOW’s anonymous restaurant review series, written by our independent Grub Scout—no freebies, no press perks, no agenda. Grub Scout pays full price, visits unannounced, and takes notes on food, service, atmosphere, and value. Each review reflects a recent, honest experience rated on our 1‑to‑5 fork scale. We aim to help you discover standout dining spots—from casual diners to white‑tablecloth affairs—one bite at a time.

ASHEVILLE, N.C. (828newsNOW) — I’m sure the title of this piece baited your click, but it wasn’t an insult. On the contrary, this place is pretty much perfect if you’re in the mood for Bourdain level cholesterol raising decadence. Hail Mary is not putting on airs. There’s no pretense of offering anything healthy, just delicious junk food that would help curb even the strongest hangover. It’s a fitting lineage to Taste Diner, where it’s housed.

The vibe of the diner itself also offers no pretense, just old school Asheville style punk aesthetic. Think Rosetta’s if it had also catered to carnivores.

She ordered the burger, which was what I think a burger is supposed to be: Smash burger patties with cheese like substance topped with pickles on a potato bun, dripping everywhere. They also included their own sauce and caramelized onions, which were both nice touches. The side of fries were standard fare, but decent.

I ordered the Cuban, which I was excited about since it’s my favorite classic sandwich. You know, a slice of ham, a slice of roasted pork, Swiss cheese, pickles and mustard on a baguette…

Well, I should’ve actually looked at the description on the menu, because their version is a bastardization of the concept: sazon sausage, mojo pork shoulder, dijonnaise, and pickled onions on… Texas toast. I don’t know, it tasted good, but I don’t understand why you’d take a heavy food and decide to make it infinitely heavier. Maybe I just wasn’t hungover enough to eat it. Again, the fries were fine.

The Cuban sandwich from Hail Mary.

The star of the meal was the Tostones: fried smashed plantains, slathered in jalapeño cream cheese, chipotle mayo, jalapeños and herbs. Again, very heavy, but delicious.

A nice thing about this place is it’s the only diner you will find that has a list of allergies they’ll account for if you tell them. Very cool.

(Courtesy: Hail Mary)

Overall, it’s very good when you need all the fat you can handle.

It’s certainly a mood.

Rating: 🍴 🍴 🍴